to be or not to be.

aw shit, i go through all this crap to come to the possible thought of me and richard actually being better as just friends. I mean today on our "date" it was more just like hanging out with a friend. in other words - no intamcy whatsoever. which kinda lets a girl down at the end of the night. I know im not in a position to really exspect that from him right now but i guess part of me kinda did. if its only the first date we've been out maybe things could be diffrent, but i feel like its just a spinning cirlce when we hang out, we do the same things. I just miss the emotional attachment- just as much as the physical bond. with everything ive been noticing though, i feel like i might need some convincing on his part if he does want to get back together. With reason i think. I deserve just as much back as i give him, and i just dont feel like im getting it, and with not being together- thats not fair. Right? Or am i way out of line